How to survive working from home with a toddler
YOU DON’T. Just kidding. We do it somehow - every single day.
Everyday is a new day. When you have a toddler, there’s a fine line between this is going to be a wonderful successful day and oh no we woke up too early (or too late) and now the day is over. DONE. My husband works 24 hour shifts, so I am alone with our daughter on the days he’s at work. Those days can be harder than others, but they don’t have to be, and some days they are smooth sailing.
This is what works for us, and I understand it might not work for everyone, but I hope I can help another mama on the way! For the other mamas out there who’d like to know how we do it, here are our keys… our secrets to success. A day in the life of us!
SCHEDULE = FLEXIBLE and if all else goes wrong, THAT’S OKAY. We try to stay on a schedule but I try not to be too hard on myself because life doesn’t always go as planned. Being at home full time with a toddler, but also working full time, can be absolutely exhausting, stressful, but I also have a sense of accomplishment when we survive the day. I have the ability to start work early. Obviously it depends on the day, but I do try to log into work and knock out some focus tasks around 6:30/7am… earlier if I’m up. My brain tends to work really well in the morning.
Pri usually wakes up around that time too, so I will usually stop what I’m doing and give her some good cuddles and milk (nurse). We’ll lay around in the bed as I’m on my computer knocking out some tasks, and she’s usually talking and still waking up and rolling around. I’ll then get myself ready while she’s still chilling in the bed. She’s such a patient sweet girl.
I then make the bed, and now that she can walk, she’ll follow me around each side of the bed and pat the covers (because she’s helping me). We then go get her ready for her day!
Although I look like a bum, rolled out of bed, probably opted out of a shower (because Pri likes to walk in with me and hubby isn’t home as she did today…fully clothed… and got soaked and said “raining”) I get Pri dressed in something comfortable (but sometimes I just keep her in her PJs… again depends on the day) 😂 we do her morning routine which takes all of 10 minutes. Diaper change, put on some clothes or not, and brush her little growing hair.INDEPENDENT PLAYING, lots of encouragement, and rotating toys! She’s usually not too hungry super early since she just nursed, so this is a great time for her to do some independent playing. What I mean by independent is that she really enjoys her toys, and I’ll sit on the kid couch in her bedroom or in the living room and she’ll entertain herself (with my smiles and head nods) as she’s playing. She’ll take out her toys, her magnets, dump them on the ground, stack them up, find a stuffed animal, show me, grab a ball, roll it around… we get a good 30 minutes to an hour of that.
MEALS are a great way to bond, but also work! By that time it’s around 9 or so and we’ll head to the kitchen! The kitchen and the living room are connected and almost completely baby proofed. I would say my husband and I have done a pretty good job at guiding her to not really get into things she shouldn’t get into (please don’t quote me on this - she’s still a fresh toddler exploring the world). She usually will hang out with me in the kitchen, grab a toy or two from the living room and find a spot smack in the middle of the walkway to play.
CLEAN as you go!!!! I cannot emphasize this one enough. It’s not about the house being clean (although I do need a clean house) - it’s about efficiency and making the house functional for days that can be hard or unexpected). I’ll unload the dishwasher that has all of 5 dishes, and make breakfast - usually an egg, apples, or some type of fruit. She loves eggs (we do one egg with coconut cream) and a cooked apple, peeled with cinnamon, cooked down until it’s soft and melts in your mouth. While she’s eating breakfast, we are talking and I’m working. Again, we get a good half hour to an hour of hanging out together at the table. She’s exploring splashing her water, learning new words and eating eggs and apples while talking, and I’m working, but also doing my best to engage and talk with her, ask her questions, help her as she’s navigating a fork. Then I eat leftover of whatever she didn’t eat. lol YEP things that she’s smashed on her plate.. I usually finish as long as its presentable.
By the time she’s done she’s ready to play with the other toys. The good ones I have in our most frequented space which is the living room. We have a busy book that has way too many small pieces that I have to find at the end of each day, we have a couple of Montessori toys, an animal puzzle, some stuffed animals, all the good stuff. She’ll find so many things to do which gives me at least an hour if not two to get some serious work done, with nursing breaks in between on demand.
Use naps to your advantage, however you want to! A break for yourself, time to snuggle your little one (get that oxytocin), deep work, or clean up a bit. When she’s reached her independent playtime peak and needs more me, I’ll take a break. We’ll nurse, or take our dog outside for some fresh air, or just play with one of her toys on our massive cozy couch. It’s usually around nap time - and here is where I have to be flexible.
Depending on what time she woke up, if earlier than 7am she’ll go down for a nap around 10 or 11am. She will sleep for an hour and a half or if I lucky, two solid hours. This is where I choose to either nap with her (my lunch break) OR get more work done, and take my lunch break when she wakes up so I can be fully present. I usually continue working while she’s sleeping, and take my lunch break intentionally when she wakes up so I can be fully present with her and we can eat lunch together without my computer at the table.
If she woke up at 7am or later, I will try to stretch the nap until later as well. I’ll make lunch, and we’ll eat (while I’m still working) but then after lunch I’ll take my lunch break during her nap time which (again, more choices) I can choose to put her down, snuggle, and nap with her (contact nap) OR I can get her down and then clean, chill on my own. I usually choose the contact nap because snuggling with my baby is the best thing in the world. When I do this however I have to keep in mind that the time it takes to get her down can sometimes take 30 minutes which means I have a short time to actually nap myself, or just take a break. I also have to make sure to bring my computer with me, or stealthily put her down to leave the room and continue working. We know how easy it is to put a toddler down for a nap 😂
The nice thing about the later nap is that when she wakes up, I’ll only have about an hour left of work -enter Miss Rachel. When she wakes up, she usually wants to nurse, to snuggle, and relax… now when she was born and very young I was telling myself we wouldn’t do screen time and yada yada. We made it all of 6 or 7 months and then limited it a lot. We have very healthy screen habits, and no tantrums (ever so far) from turning off the TV! We only watch shows that are educational in some way, unless I have an important meeting… for that look up 30 minute funny dog videos for kids on YouTube. GAME CHANGER. When the TV is turned off, we say “bye (whatever tv show)!” And continue our day! Also I try to CLEAN ALONG THE WAY, especially in the kitchen! This has helped me immensely with the flow of the day. It doesn’t happen everyday, but when it does, it really sets us up for success!
By this time it’s 3 or 4pm, and depending on what time I started work, I’ll wrap up and be done.BE DONE. Done meaning not checking anything, closing my computer and letting her know that I am done with work. I’m all hers. We’ll go let our dog Lily out, and play outside for a bit if the weather is nice. Pri loves being outside. We can hang for at least an hour no problem. After hanging outside, I’ll make dinner and she’s ready to play with her toys again. We will play with toys, eat dinner together and then it’s time to start winding down.
If it’s still early, I’ll try to prolong any and everything. I’ll clean the kitchen while she’s playing, I’ll leave her in her high chair and let her go crazy and play with a water bottle (ya girl loves splashing the water everywhere). I’ll talk to her, we’ll FaceTime Grandma, Dadada who is at work, Uncle, Great Grandma.
After all is said and done, we go to bed around 7:30 or 8 - we’ve been extending that time so she is really tired and ready for bed. After she goes down of course I continue scrolling for hours or reading.
Every single day is different - a new adventure. Some days run amazingly smooth and some days Pri is in the background upset and wanting to nurse while I am in a zoom meeting. The things that help me the most is making sure I am taking care of ME the best I can- I take JuicePlus capsules EVERY SINGLE DAY and notice a big difference in my energy and even my temperament if I don’t take them which is WILD to me. I also need to make sure I eat enough and stay hydrated. Protein shakes help when I am lazy. Rest is also key, but I am a mom and rest doesn’t really exist so I am not even going to pretend rest is a thing. Having healthy food that I can grab and go as well as snacks on hand help a lot too because we all know that making an extravagant meal for a toddler who is teething and not really into food some days is exhausting.
Having good toys and activities that are not only educational, but keep her engaged is KEY- toddlers don’t need much at all. Montessori toys are great - she loves things that she can take out and put back in keep her entertained for hours. We have an animal puzzle, a busy book, a bowl of water will keep her entertained for a significant period of time. Lots of encouragement so she knows I am right here with her (even though I am working) - I am still as present as I can be.
At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I am doing the best I can. She is not going to remember these days, so that helps the guilt of me not being fully present subside… sometimes. Daycare is wildly expensive and not always accessible to everyone. It’s not an option for our family right now. I think that’s why they say it takes a village. Moms are meant to help each other, carry each other and tell one another that it’s okay.
So this is for me and you mama… IT’S OKAY. Sometimes we are just out here surviving and keeping our head above water and THAT is our best.