How to own your day WITH your toddler
Toddlers. AM I RIGHT?! Some days feel impossible and Bluey gets turned on and mom guilt gets kicked in and we eat beans and rice for lunch and dinner (my little jams out on some black beans and brown rice y’all. I am so grateful).
Other days, we don’t watch TV at all. We spend some time outside, even take the dog for a walk. We spend the whole day together, and even without a nap (like yesterday) we THRIVED. I am happy to say that this is a normal experience that I have. I will also say that my little one is pretty chill for the most part. She just wants to be involved in MY day to day, and she wants me to be involved with her. So I am here to share the things that work for us, and what I have learned about navigating the big personality coming out of my little person who is only 2 years old.
Let me share our world with you. 2-3 days a week, it’s my toddler and I, our PUPPY Cane Corso (he is a wild giant breed boy) and our 5 year old Pitbull Husky mix. All of that to say that having a puppy in the house is a wild ride and has tested all of my patience in life. Somehow we have peace and harmony on most days with sprinkles of chaos.
Here are 5 tips on how I manage our household with minimal tantrums and less overstimulation with a bonus AI house manager to help take care of the house when things feel too exhausting - let’s take away some of that mental load AMIRIGHT?!
Create a schedule in advance, put it in your calendar. I don’t care if nothing goes to plan - having this calendar visually has changed the mental load for our whole family. My husband knows my schedule, I know his schedule, and instead of asking what anyone is doing for the day, it’s proactively right there! Here is a preview of what this looks like for us.
Here is a daily planner template for the neurodivergent mama that helps me get all of my thoughts and to-do’s out of my brain. This helps me reduce the mental load that weighs heavy on me everyday.
Everything is right there.
If I want to get fancy, I’ll add WHAT we are having for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I have a calendar for all of my DIFFERENT activities including my work schedule, my workout schedule and even me, just waking up to exist. This calendar is shared so the whole family has access to add and update as needed.
Clean proactively. This can absolutely be a tough one, and an overwhelming one, especially if there are already small toys all over in random spaces throughout the house. I like to wake up to a clean kitchen and living room. If those two things are clean, I feel like I can manage the day. I try to make our bed every morning… everything else is hit or miss. The floors aren’t always squeaky clean, with two dogs the carpet has so much dog hair and on rainy days there’s mud all over our hardwood floors… but if I can make cleaning up fun, my little one will even participate. Some days I have to be patient with her and myself, other days she’s a willing and great participant! Either way, every morning we empty the dishwasher of all the clean dishes BEFORE breakfast. When we are done with any meal, all dirty dishes go straight into the dishwasher. This leaves me with minimal cleanup BEFORE bed (I don’t clean anymore after she goes to sleep). Bedtime is bedtime for everyone. When she’s done with one toy, I ask her to clean it up before moving to the next and baskets save lives. All of the small Bluey characters and play kitchen parts are out of this world. They get piled into a basket to be organized another day - at the end of each play session, or the end of the day.
Make food in advance, and peanut butter and jelly is an acceptable breakfast, lunch and dinner meal. Some days the energy is not there. And nowhere to be found or conjured up. My life hack? Healthy “PB & J” and we call them Jammies! Dave’s Bread, Almond Butter and a low sugar, natural jam without the high fructose corn syrup does wonders. We are getting healthy grains, protein with the almond butter and jam is jam. Throw in an Apple and you have a great meal! What I have had to accept is that every meal is not going to have all of the healthy food groups. It’s okay if I am exhausted and don’t want to make a 5 course meal. It is okay. On the days I do feel more productive, I’ll make some brown rice in advance to prep for lunch or dinner - just to get some things out of the way! Any small task that I can do in advance, I try to do as proactively as I can. But again, some days the energy doesn’t exist and that’s okay too. Is my daughter fed? Yes. Happy? Yes. Healthy? Yes. Then I am doing great :)
Here are 5 Quick and Healthy Vegetarian Toddler Approved Meal Ideas - that are also fun!
Get outside. Little one throwing a tantrum in pajamas? Put em in a stroller and take a walk. Let them bring their favorite blanket or stuffed animal and go outside. Cold out? Snuggle them up. Hot out? Let them go shirtless. Get outside. Little one have all the energy fueled by grapies and milk? Take a walk together. Hold their little hands as a reminder of just how small they are, let them pick out a pinecone or a leaf and bring it home with you. Little one not quite walking and doesn’t want to go in their stroller? Throw them in a baby carrier on your front or back. Get outside. I promise you and your little will feel better even if it’s hard to get out of the door. It can be so hard to get out of the door but if you can do it, your body will also feel better too. Getting outside can help reduce stress and anxiety, improve overall mood and wellbeing AND it can also help improve the quality of your sleep (for your littles as well)! We all need that last one!
Let the tantrums play out, and be there for support and love. This is probably one of my favorite topics because it helps me distance myself when both my daughter and I are in a tension filled space. I will say her tantrums are very very short. I don’t know if it is simply because I slightly acknowledge the tantrums and then distract her right away or we’ve gotten ahead of self-regulation, but she’ll have a little scream or “ball (fall) down” (throws herself to the ground) and then she gets right back up and it’s over. This is what one of her little tantrums look like in real time. In this case I had been telling her not to dip the measuring cup in the bowl of our cake mixture and when she chooses to do it - I will remove her from the situation: I took away the measuring cup. She threw a tantrum, I acknowledged that she was upset, supported her and asked if she needed a hug in which she said “I don’t” but gave me a little nuzzle as I rubbed her back. Then I distracted her with how else she could help me! Tantrum resolved! We also have taught her from a young age how to take deep breaths when she’s upset and frustrated. She even does it when she’s hurt. We do this together and it helps me regulate myself as well.
Use this Peaceful Parent’s AI House Manager Guide! This guide is meant to help:
Create little guilt free pockets of time just for you
Wraps you in support when you need it most
Takes meal planning off of your mental lload
Transforms chaos into clarity and helps you focus on what truly matters
Helps you find the lesson in every challenging interaction
I need to get better at that last one! This guide was created by Gabs Hayes, who I met virtually through Beyond the 9th founded by Kendra Pennington - this platform is an incredible virtual resource for mamas where we discuss the very real everyday challenges moms face in and out of the workforce, from navigating work mode, the transitions in and out of maternity leave, leaving a toxic work environment and trying to balance working from home and being a mama, experiencing isolation and/or discrimination time and time again. This community has truly empowered me to be a better version of myself, for myself, my family and my daughter. Gabs is an advocate for life on your terms - helping others find the courage to take the steps towards building your life and business that feels true to you.
If you are a mom, you are a superhero. Period.